© 2008 Votelessness. 
In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court™ of The USA! upheld a law that even first-year political science students agree will disenfranchise a variety of voters from the elderly to immigrants (the legal ones). The Supremes said it was cool for Indiana to require photo I.D. to participate in the electoral process in that state, which it most certainly is not. It is exponentially less cool than the least cool thing you can think of – even less cool than “More than Words” by Extreme.
The official website of the Department of State of Pennsylvania declared Tuesday that Barack Obama lost that state’s primary to Hillary Clinton by a ten percentage point margin. The same website also officially declared that Barack Obama lost to Barack Obama, who in turn lost to Barack Obama who lost to Hillary Clinton.
Maria Potts, ten-year-old, today discovered the root of our economy’s current turmoil. Potts, using addition and subtraction, came to the conclusion that the economy is in the dire situation that it is because the people we put in charge of it are “just stupid… and boring”. Using a ‘burnt umber’ Crayola, yellow Sharpie, finger paint and some sheets of construction paper cut into hearts, Ms. Potts outlined for Votelessness the calculus she used to determine what she calls “the stupid dumbness of the dumb stupid heads”. It is her contention that America’s economic woes are as a direct result of the fact that “…the President and stuff hafta review their pluses and minuses.”
John McCain demonstrated this week that he is even more full of shit than you previously thought. Speaking before an assembly of members of the VFW, Mr. McCain stated that we are no longer staring into the abyss of defeat in Iraq. That statement alone wouldn’t have resonated as complete horseshit, if McCain had immediately followed it with an intimation that we were actually staring OUT of the abyss that we have so obviously been in since the disasterously ill-advised invasion of the country in 2003. McCain did not offer any such intimations.
Electronic voting machines manufactured by Diebold (now Premier Elections Solutions) proved how much easier voting can be in the digital age. In Illinois, in the special election held to replace Dennis Hastert electronic voting machines did voters the courtesy of telling them how they should vote.
Representative Heather Wilson of New Mexico is accused of buying votes in her state’s presidential primary election. Ms. Wilson reportedly* paid $35 (American) per hour for voters to show up at the Republican Delegate Convention for two hours. That results in a net total of $70 per vote.
Wednesday February 27th, presidential hopeful Barack Obama picked up an endorsement from Ohio’s State Treasurer that could serve to propel him to the tie he is already in with Senator Hillary Clinton. The treasurer’s name is Cordray or something like that. At a rally for Senator Obama on Ohio State University’s campus, the […]
Ralph Nader is right. If the Democrats cannot win this one in a landslide, they should close down. Gosh, it sure is great to have old Ralph back in the race. His curmudgeonly-old-crank demeanor and rumpled, ill-fitting suits will be a welcome compliment to Hillary’s ridiculous smile and point routine and custom-tailored […]
Tuesday, February 5th, Elections officials in Chicago gave voters the inkless plastic styluses from electronic touch-screen voting machines so they could fill out the paper, optical scan ballots they were issued. The styluses resemble the stylus one might find tethered to the checkout at Target and contain absolutely no ink or other substance that might leave a mark.