Rational Activity

Rumsfeld, Clinton and Dean Open Bi-Partisan Meat Restaurant

By Paul Lander ⋅ April 28, 2008 ⋅ Email this post ⋅  Print this post ⋅ Post a comment

Ending years of speculation on his next move, former D.O.D Secretary Don Rumsfeld announced he and his investment partners – Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton and DNC Chairman Howard Dean – planned to open a chain of Bi-Partisan restaurants – Rummy’s Yummy Red Meat Grille. Rumsfeld explained, “when it comes to feeding their constituents red meat, that’s something Democrats and Republicans have in common.” Sen. Clinton remarked, “My husband thinks this is a winner. And, nobody knows more about a good piece of meat than my Bill!” Gov. Dean, acting as V.P. of Franchising, added with exuberance, “Not only are we going to New Hampshire, but we’re going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico and we’re going to California and Texas and New York and we’re going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan and then we’re going to Washington D.C. to sell meat near the White House . Yeeeeeeeee Hah!” Rumsfeld was reached for comment while dealing with last-minute staffing issues at the newest location in Pierre, S.D. His exasperated and somewhat dickish response to our completely unrelated question was, “I guess you don’t open a restaurant with the staff you want, but the one you have.”