Electionistic Strategery

Bush Crashes Democratic Party

By Paul Lander ⋅ April 23, 2008 ⋅ Email this post ⋅  Print this post ⋅ Post a comment

Rumors have begun circulating inside the Beltway that President Bush is thinking of switching to the Democratic Party. A made up source close to the President said he overheard Mr. Bush tell an advisor, “I don’t like being in the minority. It blows. How those black folks handle it, is beyond me – like basic arithmetic and grammar. I gotta tip my sombrero to them.” When asked if the move would be controversial, the President replied, “Why? I’m a uniter, not a divider. And what better way to unite then to just mosey on over to the other side.” Speech writers are said to be hard at work on the President’s announcement, despite having no idea at whom to point their mean-spirited rhetoric. Choice lines include: “Gay marriage? Not only am I now for it. I’m fixing up my twins with that Chastity Bono and Melissa Etheridge.” “Global Warming? Hell yeah, it’s real, and it sucks!” “Gun Control?!? ATF agents at this very moment are raiding Blair House to disarm the Vice President. Everyone knows he ain’t got no control over his guns” In an unprecedented show of bi-partisan unity House Leader, Nancy Pelosi and Minority Leader, John Boehner are looking into legislation to block the President. A source that could be close to the President (if he existed) said that his official response to the proposed legislation is, “It ain’t nothin’ but a party, y’all.”

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