Electionistic Strategery

Hillary and Barack Get Time-Out at Recess

By Rosevelt Franklin ⋅ April 21, 2008 ⋅ Email this post ⋅  Print this post ⋅ Post a comment

In a mad rush to see who could say the most mean, dumb stuff about their opponents, Senators Clinton and Obama both used the last few minutes of airtime they could procure before the Pennsylvania primary to lash out at each other in the most ham-handed and sophomoric manner they could. The jeers and barbs fell barely short of the record childish behavior set in 1988 by Michael Dukakis and George H. W. Bush. In that election the Bush camp accused Mr. Dukakis of being a criminal-loving pansy and stated that if they ever saw him alone, they were going to give him a swirlie. The Dukakis campaign responded with, “criminal-loving pansy?!? We know they are, but what is Mike.” To which Bush Sr.’s people responded, “It is a good thing today is opposite day and that Vice President Bush is rubber and Gov. Dukakis glue.”

This weekend Mrs. Clinton criticized Obama for saying that he thought John McCain would make a better president than George W. Bush. She stated, “”We need a nominee who will take on John McCain, not cheer on John McCain, and I will be that nominee.” What Mrs. Clinton failed to take into consideration is that Mr. Obama may also have said that the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity™ waffle he had for breakfast would also make a better president than George W. Bush, but that in no way indicates that Mr. Obama thinks it would be a good idea for that waffle to do so.

Mr. Obama responded to Clinton’s desperate attempt to find something negative to say about him, by desperately attempting to find something negative to say about Mrs. Clinton. “Trying to score cheap political points… doesn’t make for good government,” he said, mid-waffle, “but six different kinds of mostly fruitlike substances do make for a good waffle.” He then added, “Hillary Sucks!!!” and pronounced all three exclamation marks.