Electionistic Strategery

Rush Limbaugh’s Voter Fraud Scheme Just First Chapter of How-To Book

By Carl Chapik ⋅ March 14, 2008 ⋅ Email this post ⋅  Print this post ⋅ Post a comment

Rush Limbaugh is eating up some serious column-inches in the papers, the ‘zines (both e- and maga), and he’s hot shit in the blogosphere (which, despite how it sounds, is nothing like the Thunderdome). His wildly inappropriate and utterly reprehensible use of his radio program to encourage widespread election fraud has earned him another stint in the middle of the spotlight. The media haven’t focused on Rush like this since he went to rehab for his addiction to oxycontin, but this time it isn’t his substance dependency that has everyone abuzz. This time it is his treason.

That’s right, by encouraging registered Republicans in Ohio to switch parties last minute so they could vote for Hillary and give John McCain a better shot at the White House, the Big Fat Idiot was actually encouraging massive-scale election fraud.

“[Ohio] law states that a voter who is challenged by poll workers to defend the sincerity of their last minute switch of party affiliation must sign an affidavit confirming their allegiance to that party’s principles.”

In Cuyahoga County alone, more than 16,000 registered Republicans switched party affiliation last minute. Similar phenomena were witnessed all over the state. Sure, it sounds sneaky and it is, but sneaky isn’t against the law – just against any viable code of decency.

However…

“[Ohio] law states that a voter who is challenged by poll workers to defend the sincerity of their last minute switch of party affiliation must sign an affidavit confirming their allegiance to that party’s principles.” –from Phillyist

Many of BFI’s Dittoheads, feeling an overwhelming sense of accomplishment after helping to subvert the principals upon which our country is founded, blogged about their experiences. Ordinarily, the most any of them accomplish is saving room for dessert or finding the remote control, so even a little felonious manipulation of democratic processes seems like a lot. Unfortunately for them, blogposts make pretty good evidence that their allegiance to the Democratic Party’s principles is specious at best.

Here’s what one of the morons wrote on his blog:

“Lastly, they had me sign the affirmation about switching parties and supporting the principles of the Democrat party. I said that would be easy, because they don’t have any. Everybody got a good chuckle as there isn’t a Democrat within 5 miles any direction from where I vote. I then proceeded to cast my vote for Hillary Clinton. Dirty as it felt at the time, I have a feeling I’ll be rewarded in the long run.”

“Lastly, they had me sign the affirmation about switching parties and supporting the principles of the Democrat party. I said that would be easy, because they don’t have any. Everybody got a good chuckle as there isn’t a Democrat within 5 miles any direction from where I vote. I then proceeded to cast my vote for Hillary Clinton. Dirty as it felt at the time, I have a feeling I’ll be rewarded in the long run.”

It’s really stupid to blog about how you and all the elections workers had a laugh as you fraudulently signed a legal document, while they, government officials, looked on in approval. Really stupid.

Well, it seems that is the point. Rush is coming out with a new how-to book – Dumb Crimes You Morons Should Commit to Promote My Agenda, and his election fraud scheme was just a summary of the first chapter. In the book, Rush will outline a number of poorly-planned crimes the Dittoheads can commit in their spare time and with minimal investment of energy. Advanced copies won’t be available, but sources close to the Limbaugh organization are hinting that they will range from misdemeanor-level gay bashing to felonies like extortion and perjury. All of the hackneyed schemes were concocted by the Big Fat Idiot himself – most while he was on a couple of oxies and some really dank hippie-grade kind bud (no wait, that wasn’t Rush… He was on coke. Oxycontin and coke. And some blue pills that he found in the pocket of those Khakis he never wears.). Each individual scheme leaves enormous amounts of evidence that can be used to convict the participant, all of them are morally repugnant in nature and motivated by small-mindedness and knee-jerk reactions, and very few of them have any chance of success.

An expert on dumb crimes, who asked to remain anonymous, said, “Those are some of the dumbest crimes I have ever heard of. You’d have to be an absolute moron to try any of them.”

Limbaugh’s book is expected to sell millions (as soon as it comes out on CD).