Electionistic Strategery

Price of Votes Tops $70 in New Mexico

By Johnny Davis ⋅ March 7, 2008 ⋅ Email this post ⋅  Print this post ⋅ Post a comment

March 4th, 2008 – New Mexico

Representative Heather Wilson of New Mexico is accused of buying votes in her state’s presidential primary election. Ms. Wilson reportedly* paid $35 (American) per hour for voters to show up at the Republican Delegate Convention for two hours. That results in a net total of $70 per vote.

Leading economists suggest that this year’s surge in vote prices could affect other aspects of our economy. As a result of the sudden upturn in the price of votes, the price of keeping a congressperson in-pocket is expected to rise, as are the costs associated with electronic voting machine tampering and voter intimidation.

Thugs, ordinarily bargain priced because of their inherent propensity to enjoy their work, are expected to cost 20-30 percent more for use in on-the-ground voter mis-information and discouragement campaigns. A spokesperson for an association that may or may not have something to do with the thugs said, “Thugs feel they are just as efficacious at disenfranchising voters and manipulating elections results as paid voters.” She continued, “All they want is to be compensated appropriately vis-à-vis purchased votes.”

If thug prices increase, as they are expected to do, hackers are likely to follow suit and demand similar compensation to tamper with electronic voting machines. Corruption industry analysts predict that hackers will demand an even higher premium to hack Diebold (Premier Elections Solutions) machines, because the code in the Diebold machines is so pathetic.

If corruption prices continue to rise industry-wide, it may become more cost-effective to run legitimate elections and let the people decide. Such a paradigm shift could cripple or even destroy the entire national corruption industry, which could lead to a spike in jobless claims.

*Actually, the reports about Ms. Wilson’s felonies were killed by the News Director at KKOB in Albuquerque. Rep. Wilson pressured the station not to air Laura Mac Callum’s report about her malfeasance and the station caved. Ms. Mac Callum, a 32-year veteran, resigned after the station killed her story.